When Faith was all I had–It was enough
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Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
As I anticipate beginning my 79th year on this earth in just a few months, I find myself reflecting on how I arrived at this place—especially the quiet, unwavering confidence that God will meet whatever need arises in my life.
Psalm 37:25
“I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.”
How did my faith move from head knowledge to heart knowledge? That journey began when I was a small child.
I was blessed to grow up in a home with wonderful, godly parents who not only took us to church but lived their faith before us. I can still remember hearing them pray aloud, and at times, hearing them pray specifically for me. Sunday after Sunday, faithful teachers brought Bible stories to life on flannel boards—colorful images of David and Goliath, Daniel in the lion’s den, and so many others. Through those early years, I learned that people faced difficult and even frightening circumstances, yet God brought them through every one of them. From the very beginning, I heard a consistent message: if you have a need, take it to Jesus. That was how my head-faith began to grow.
My first memory of kneeling and truly praying for something important came when I was five years old. In the mid-1950s, Easter was a very special occasion. Little girls wore beautiful dresses, Easter hats, shiny shoes, and sometimes even gloves. I remember so clearly how much I longed for a beautiful dress of my own to wear to God’s house. When I asked my mother, she gently held me and explained that she and Daddy simply did not have the money that year, as much as she wished they did. Then she said something that has stayed with me all my life: “Why don’t you ask Jesus?”
So I did. And I am quite sure my mother was doing some serious praying of her own.
About a week before Easter, a package arrived in the mail from my grandparents—the first and only time that had ever happened. Inside was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen: light mint green, with a three-layered skirt and delicate lace. To this day, I do not know what took place behind the scenes. Perhaps my mother had called them. But to that little five-year-old girl, there was no question in my mind—Jesus had answered my prayer. In that moment, a seed of faith was planted.
Through the years, that small seed grew into a sapling, then into a tree, and today I would say it has become a strong and steady tree of faith. I once had a friend say to me, “Gwinnetta, you have more faith than anyone I know.” I thought about that for a long time and came to realize something important: faith did not grow during the easy seasons of life—it grew in the difficult ones. Raising two children as a single mother, facing financial struggles, and walking through seasons that could have easily broken me all became the soil where that faith took root more deeply. It was in those times that I learned a truth I have never forgotten: when faith is all you have, it is enough. Again and again, I saw how God brought me through situations that could have ended very differently.
Over the years, I have also learned that having faith does not mean fear and doubt never appear. There have been many times when I have quietly prayed, “Lord, I believe—help my unbelief,” and I have found that He understands and meets us even there.
Sometimes we feel as though our faith is too small to matter, yet Scripture reminds us otherwise:
Matthew 17:20
“…If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed… nothing shall be impossible unto you.”
I have learned not to be discouraged when my faith feels small, because it is not the size of our faith that matters, but the faithfulness of the One in whom we place it.
There have also been moments when the Lord has asked me to take what felt like a leap of faith. One of my favorite scenes from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade shows him standing at the edge of what appears to be certain death, with no visible way forward. His only option is to step out into what looks like empty space, yet when he does, he discovers a bridge that had been there all along, just unseen. My own experiences were not nearly so dramatic, but they felt just as uncertain. There were times when God asked me to move forward when I could not see where my foot would land, and yet each time, He made a way.
I remember once seeing a picture of an orange tabby cat clinging tightly to a rope, its eyes wide with fear. The caption read, “Hanging by Faith.” It made me smile, but it also felt very familiar. There were many times in my life when I did not feel as though I was holding onto something strong and secure like a rope or a chain. Instead, it felt as though I was clinging to a single thread of a spider’s web, suspended over something vast and uncertain. And yet, every single time, that thread held.
The reason my faith remains today is simple: I have experienced the complete and total faithfulness of God. There were times when the answer did not come quickly and seasons when I had to wait longer than I expected, but I learned to keep holding on, trusting that He would come through in His perfect way and in His perfect timing. And He always did.
My journey of faith did not happen overnight. It was built one prayer at a time, one trial at a time, and one answered need at a time. From a little girl in a mint green Easter dress to a woman nearing her 79th year, I can say with confidence that God has never failed me.
And He never will.
If you would like to read more about how God has faithfully ordered the steps of my life, you can learn more in my book, He Ordered My Steps – From Shattered Dreams to Something Beautiful.
Closing Blessing
May you be reminded today that your faith, no matter how small it feels, is seen by a faithful God. May you find the courage to trust Him in the places where you cannot yet see the outcome, and when you feel as though you are barely holding on, may you discover once again that even the thinnest thread of faith is held securely in His hands.