Evidence of His Faithfulness
“I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.” — Psalm 121:1–2 (NKJV)
During seasons when the future feels uncertain, I often find myself drawn once again to the words of Psalm 121: “I will lift up my eyes to the hills…” What an incredible passage to ponder when walking through trials, when problems seem overwhelming and the future unclear. Over the years, those words have come to mean more and more to me as I have reflected on the many ways God has faithfully carried me through life’s unexpected detours and difficult valleys.
In my memoir, He Ordered My Steps: From Shattered Dreams to Something Beautiful, I recount many of the “hills” God has brought me through—moments of heartbreak, disappointment, and seasons when I could see no way forward. Even now, those testimonies continue to encourage me whenever new troubles threaten and anxiety begins creeping in once again. Looking back at those hills reminds me how faithfully God has always carried me through.
When trials suddenly appear and the road ahead feels uncertain, I must make a choice. I can allow fear to consume me as I imagine all the unknown possibilities of tomorrow, or I can trust the Good Shepherd, recognizing that although I do not know the future, I do know the One who does.
I must confess that I am human. There are still moments when the “what ifs” begin creeping in—moments when fear whispers worst-case scenarios into my mind. When that happens, I return once again to the promises of God. I remind myself that the Lord goes before me, that He has promised never to leave nor forsake me.
Today, when I look toward an uncertain future, I often think again about the words of Psalm 121 and an interpretation a friend once shared with me that deeply impacted my life.
David was not simply looking toward the hills geographically. It was in the hills that, with God’s help, he had slain the lion and the bear. As David lifted his eyes toward those hills, perhaps he was remembering all the times God had already delivered him through dangers that could have destroyed him. Those memories strengthened his faith that God would once again bring him through.
I realized that I, too, needed to “lift up my eyes to my hills.” I needed to remember the seasons when the bottom seemed to fall out from under me, when I could see no way forward—and yet God faithfully carried me through.
One of those “hills” takes me back to 1999.
For several years, I had worked as a contract paralegal for numerous high profile lawsuits, managing and designing database programs and applications. I was well qualified to work as a manager of a litigation support department in a law firm—except for one factor. Firms required the manager to have earned a college degree—a piece of paper. I was self-taught. During one contract job, the supervisor was impressed with my expertise and when she opened her own litigation support company, I was hired.
At last! Dream fulfilled. I was earning an excellent salary, and my daughter Lisa was also hired for a support staff position. This wonderful new beginning suddenly appeared before both our eyes.
The first week of June 2000, Lisa and I had moved into a much smaller apartment closer to the company. We believed we were building a stable future.
At the time, the move simply seemed practical. But looking back now, I can see God’s hand even there. Had we remained where we were, the financial burden we were about to face would have been overwhelming.
Once again, God was preparing the way before we even knew the storm was coming.
Then, only weeks later, everything collapsed.
On July 7, 2000, the owner called a staff meeting and delivered devastating news: “Guys, I’m so sorry, but I’ve run out of money.”
Just like that, the dream disappeared.
Both Lisa and I suddenly lost our well-paying jobs and found ourselves scrambling for temporary work.
I contacted a headhunter I had previously worked with, hoping she might help me find another position. Her response was painfully honest: “Gwinnetta, if you only had a certificate, an associate degree, or a bachelor’s degree, I could place you today as the manager of a litigation support department in a major law firm.”
But I had none of those things.
For years I had wanted to return to college, though life circumstances had always seemed to prevent it. Suddenly I found myself wondering if perhaps this painful interruption was actually an opportunity. I had lost much of my income anyway. Maybe this was the time to step out in faith and pursue a dream—at the age of fifty-five.
Before making the decision, I sought the Lord. As I prayed, He gave me peace, and I stepped forward in faith.
At the time, my goal was very clear. I believed I was returning to college so I could finally be hired full time by a major law firm rather than continuing in contract litigation support work. But before my first year was over, I discovered a deep love for writing and research.
Seven years later, I had earned not only an Honors Bachelor’s Degree, but also a Master’s Degree in U.S. History. Only six weeks after completing my graduate degree, I was hired as a History Adjunct teaching U.S. History classes both on campus and online—one of the most fulfilling chapters of my life.
Around 2015, my eyesight began deteriorating significantly. Shortly afterward, I had to stop driving altogether. By that time, I had transitioned to teaching fully online because I could no longer see well enough to commute to campus. Later, I could no longer read printed documents.
It was then I began to fully understand what God had been doing all along.
Had He not led me back to college, and eventually into teaching online, I realized that if I had achieved my original dream of being hired full time by a major law firm, that career likely would have been cut short by my growing vision loss.
What once felt like shattered dreams had actually been God mercifully leading me toward a future only He could see. When I look back at that hill now, I no longer see devastation. I see preparation. Many of the painful detours and unexpected U-turns in my life were actually God mercifully redirecting my steps long before I understood why the path needed to change.
Another hill comes to mind whenever I think about my present employment with Educational Testing Service.
By 2017, I was teaching fewer classes, and financial uncertainty was once again beginning to loom over me. In fact, the very day I was filling out an application to become a Walmart greeter, I called a friend I rarely spoke with. She immediately told me she had received a letter earlier that very day inviting people to apply for a round-trip, all-expenses-paid ETS assignment in Louisville grading AP History essays during the first week of June.
After our conversation, I went online and applied not only for the Louisville assignment, but also for grading SAT essays for ETS. I was hired for both programs.
Through the years, my friend and I often laughed about that original phone call because her only reason for mentioning the Louisville letter was that she thought I could use a fully paid “vacation.” But God had His own plans—plans far greater than either of us could have imagined, more than we could ask or think.
I began grading SAT essays in March. That season ended during the last week of May, and shortly afterward I flew to Louisville for the one-week AP History assignment. But when that week ended, it suddenly appeared I was unemployed once again.
Shortly afterward, however, I applied for the TOEFL program and was hired. Unlike the seasonal ETS assignments, TOEFL became steady year-round work and a major source of financial stability for me over the years.
As time went on, additional seasonal programs opened as well. ELPAC came next, and years later Kira Talent followed.
Then toward the end of 2024, I received an invitation to join the TOEIC program. At the time, I had no idea that only a couple of months later the TOEFL program I had worked with for nearly seven years would suddenly be moved to India.
Once again, before one door closed, God had already opened another.
Even now, I find myself facing a new unknown. Recently I have received fewer TOEIC shifts, and with that change the old fears have begun whispering once again. It is difficult not to wonder whether TOEIC could someday follow the same path as TOEFL.
If that were to happen, it would dramatically affect my ability to continue living independently. That reality can feel frightening at times.
In moments like these, I have to remind myself to lift my eyes to my hills. Even after all the ways I have seen God faithfully provide throughout my life, fear and anxiety still sometimes try to creep in. If I focus only on the uncertainty before me, fear will continue to grow. But when I remember how faithfully God has carried me through every valley behind me, my faith is strengthened once again.
I remember the company collapse in 2000. I remember the unexpected journey back to college. I remember the doors God opened through teaching, through ETS, and through opportunities I never could have orchestrated myself.
Time after time, God has already been preparing the answer before I even recognized the need.
Looking back at the hills of my past reminds me that the God who carried me then is still walking before me today.
Perhaps that is why Psalm 121 means so much more to me today than it once did. Lifting our eyes to the hills is not merely an act of memory—it is an act of faith. It is remembering the faithfulness of God in past valleys so that we can trust Him in present ones.
The days ahead may still hold unanswered questions. There may still be moments when fear tries to whisper discouragement into my heart. But when I remember all the times my Good Shepherd has carried me through impossible situations before, I find strength to trust Him again.
The hills themselves are not the source of my strength. They are simply evidence of God’s faithfulness.
Perhaps today you need to lift your eyes to your own hills—to remember those moments when God carried you through circumstances you once thought would destroy you. The same God who was faithful then is still faithful now.
And He will remain faithful tomorrow.
May you find peace in remembering the hills God has already brought you through, courage for the valleys you presently face, and confidence that your Good Shepherd still walks before you—ordering your steps even when the path ahead seems uncertain.